The Verge of a Pucker
“I’m sorry.”
“What are you sorry about?”
“Relax, Doris is a sport. I thought you were shitting me.”
“I wasn’t.”
“I can see that. You want a drink, Doris?”
“No, thanks. Whew. Gentlemen, I think I just witnessed a medical miracle. You didn’t drug me, did you?”
“No.”
“Well, that was quite a thing, that was. I’ve haven’t felt that since Lenny died.”
“I’m sorry.”
“What are you sorry about?”
“That’s what I’m trying to tell him. There’s a lot of men who would kill to be able to do that.”
“I’ll say. Me coming first. That’s a first. Well, thanks boy, that was fun.”
“Wait, wait, wait. The money?”
“What about it?”
“Fifty dollars.”
“We didn’t shake.”
“Oh, come on.”
“It’s not a bet unless you shake.”
“I’d say you got your money’s worth.”
“Let her go.”
“I appreciate it, honey, but, truth is, I haven’t got that kinda scratch handy.”
“You are such a tease.”
“I can give you a ten.”
“Never mind.”
“How’d you learn to do that, anyway?”
“He got it from a girl.”
“A girl.”
“A childhood sweetheart. Louise. She infected him.”
“She did?”
“Theoretically.”
“She made you come with a kiss?”
“Yeah.”
“Wait. You both came? Joe, you didn’t mention that. That’s an important detail.”
“It was kinda embarrassing. I was all wet and I didn’t know what it was. Louise told me.”
“Look at this boy. I wish you could see your face. Look at the mirror behind the bar. What do you see?”
“Us.”
“She’s right. You talked about women. And Joyce. And the Hertz whore.”
“Hertz whore?’
“Doris, haven’t you got tables to do?”
“Shuttup. This is interesting.”
“But you talk about Louise and your whole face changes.”
“It does?”
“Totally. Like it’s on the verge of something.”
“What is a verge exactly?”
“Doris. I’m trying to help my friend here.”
“I’m just curious.”
“It’s a precipice. A threshold. You know what a brink is?”
“I think so.”
“Same thing.”
“Okay.”
“Whatever happened to Louise?”
“Doris!”
“She grew up. Now she’s famous. Her name’s not Louise anymore.”
“She’s what? A singer, an actress? Would I know her?”
“Everybody knows her.”
“Why won’t you tell us her name?”
“It’s a secret.”
“Honey, you’re a lucky man.”
“I am?’
“And I’m not talking about kissing. Most guys spend years looking for the right woman or avoiding her, and you got the right one right out of the chute.”
