The Verge of a Pucker
“Some women are never happy. So don’t kiss ‘em.”
“What?”
“Tell them kissing is too intimate. Like whores.”
“Whores kiss.”
“I’ve heard they don’t.”
“Bullshit. You pay ‘em enough they do anything.”
“I’ve heard that, too.”
“It’s true.”
“You’ve been?”
“Once. I was lonely.”
“How much?”
“I don’t wanna get into that.”
“Was it good?”
“It was fine. The last thing we did was kiss. She came. She cried. Now she works for Hertz.”
“Wait, wait, wait. You kissed her and she gave up the life?”
“Something like that. She hated men and she started to like them again after me. We were close for a while.”
“What happened?”
“She became a Republican.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, so that killed that.”
“I’ve never heard of this before.”
“Me neither.”
“Is it a trick? I mean can you teach it?”
“Why would I want to teach it?”
“Are we talking tongue here or just lips?”
“Lips.”
“Doris? Come over here, Sweetie.”
“What do you want, John?”
“This is gonna sound like a joke, but it’s not. When was your last orgasm?”
“Five minutes ago. I had a big tipper.”
“I’m serious.”
“Yeah, I can tell.”
“Listen. I bet you a twenty dollars my friend here can bring you to orgasm with just a kiss.”
“Don’t!”
“Relax.”
“A kiss? What is this, a trick?”
“Yeah, he’s magician.”
“I don’t want to.”
“He doesn’t want to.”
“Fifty dollars.”
“Get out of here.”
“Fifty dollars says my friend here can make you come just by kissing you.”
“Don’t.”
“Relax Joe, I’ll split it with you.”
“Fifty dollars? Just for a peck?”
“Swear to god.”
“It’s a deal. Hold still, Honey. Whoa.”
“Sorry. Here, I’ll hold that for you.”
“Thanks. Whoa.”
“You wanna sit down, Doris? You okay?”
“Whew. I’m fine.”
