A Swim in the Laughing Soup
GENE AUTRY
Oh no. No-no-no.
(Sorts through the junk in the shopping cart, looking for something.)
Oh no, you weren’t. He died of fever, Jo-oey-oe.
THIRSTY
Uh-uh. He fuckin’ froze.
GENE AUTRY
He promised me.
(Search getting desperate; throws junk out of shopping cart.)
Nope. No.
MAGS
I found him on a bench by the pond in Fisher Park. He’d pissed and puked himself. When I woke him up, he asked for help. I took him home.
?NGEL
Se la tiró.
MAGS
He never touched me, barely knew where he was. I took off his clothes and gave him a hot bath. I put him in my own bed. I sang to him. He didn’t want to die alone. We had an understanding.
GENE AUTRY
No way, no such bathtub.
(Points a shoe at Mags.)
And where’d you get a bed anyway?
MAGS
Where I got this whiskey, eh ?ngel? We’re miracle workers.
(Laughs.)
?NGEL
Eso es como cagadas de hormiga.
(Scratches his nose through the ski mask.)
MAGS
This is not ant shit.
(Waggles the bottle at him.)
It’s important. Six people are dead because they had no place to go. And just look at these poor suffering bastards. You call this living? Anyone here happy?
(MAGS waits for a reply. None of the homeless people speak.)
MAGS
No.
(Beat.)
Poor ?ngel doesn’t understand what we’re doing here. He’d rather be home on the couch scratching his balls and watching It’s A Wonderful Life. Me, I try to help people find their way.
(Laughs.)
Even if it kills them.
GENE AUTRY
No, nope. They found Joey behind the middle school. It was in the paper. No-no-no, absolutely not.
MAGS
I had to stick him someplace after it was over. He didn’t care. The deal was done.
(MAGS motions to ?NGEL, who removes a dirty baseball hat from the bag and gives it to MAGS. The hat is embroidered with the name JOE. MAGS offers it to GENE AUTRY.)
